I see her always
by Smdauntless
Summary: When Tobias finds an unexpected gift at his doorstep he takes it in his loving arms wholeheartedly. He misses his beloved Tris but can see her always.
1. Chapter 1

Tobias POV

I run my fingers through her silky hair, the magnetic force between us compelling us closer. I pull her in and I'm lost in a trance. Her soft lips against mine, her body close to me, it melts me. She's the only one that can make me feel this way, the only one for me. I lift her up, our lips still together, and bring her in as close as possible. I can feel my heart pounding, at that moment I would give anything to let this moment last. I carry her to the bed and drop her down so I'm on top of her. She pulls away slightly and smiles. That smile is the greatest gift I could ever receive, it lets me know she's happy, and her happiness comes before anything to me. I gently kiss her forehead and then roll over so I'm lying down next to her. She rests her head on my shoulder and our feet intertwine.

"I love you, you know that right?" I ask.

"You tell me everyday" she smiles.

"I love you too" she says and then plants a soft kiss on my lips and my heart melts all over again. She moves her hand up under my shirt and rests it on my chest. She soon falls asleep on my shoulder and I lie there thinking how lucky I am. What did I do to deserve her, the most beautiful and perfect girl I know. I let a giddy smile sweep over my face, and then fell asleep beside her, listening to her soft breaths.

"Hey we thought you'd gone missing" says Caleb, huffing a little from running.

"I was just...thinking" Tobias replies staring out at the sea, finally returning to reality.

"You were thinking about Tris weren't you?" he asks already knowing the answer.

"...yes, how could I not, she's perfect" he says in almost disbelief that she was no longer with him.

"I don't blame you, I still think about her" Caleb replies like he's finally revealing the truth.

"We should head back though man, everyone is wondering where you got to" says Caleb.

"Yeah, I'll catch you up, I just need a moment" he says close to tears, trying not to let it show though.

"Sure, try not to let it get the best of you brother" and with that Caleb walked back to meet everyone. He too thought about Tris a lot, but nowhere near as much as Tobias. He felt for him, he knew their love was strong and true, which it was. Tobias sat there for a moment longer, then stifled away his thoughts into a dark place in his mind, and promised not to let them out again until the night, when he was alone again.

I couldn't bear it any longer. The hurt that devoured my heart every waking moment, I had to find someway to ease the pain, and that came from writing. I wrote to her. I know she wont respond, but letting my feelings out felt good, and I know that up there from heaven she would be reading what I wrote to her, my true, compassionate feelings towards her. Tonight I was writing to her about how I wish I could see her one last time, her deep, mysterious eyes, her glossy, golden hair. Every little thing that maybe I only noticed. It was two in the morning but my heart wasn't quite at rest, I sat there thinking, trying to make the words string together perfectly, to be good enough for my only love. I know she wouldn't care, but I do, she deserves the world, she deserved a long, happy life. The rain was still pitter-pattering on the roof as it had been for the last few days. The constant rain was starting to put everyone in a bad mood, how are dauntless meant to run free cooped up inside, enclosed by four walls. Oh well, the darkness can't last forever. Then I hear over the sound of my pen caressing the paper with words of love, a light knock on the door and soft feet scampering. How oddly unusual at this time of night. It was probably one of the boys doing a knock and run, or needing a place to stay as they locked themselves out again. Anyway, I headed to the door in curiosity and opened it slowly, no one stood outside in the cold winters air, I stood at the foot of my front door and yelled just not loud enough to wake the people asleep in their homes,

"Oi!" I yelled.

There was no reply. I muttered slightly miffed under my breath and walked back inside. Just before the door closed behind me, I felt an intense compulsion in my heart. As if Tris was standing behind me, like a magnetic force. I turned suddenly and stood there looking in utter disbelief.

Hi,

Please review, I am open to your advice and would love to hear your opinions on my story and where it could improve :)

-Soph x


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for such a positive response to my first fan fiction :) 

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters used in my story, all credit goes to V. Roth and her amazing trilogy, DIVERGENT!

Her face was innocent and full of hope, she lay there smothered in a pink blanket so worn out it was fraying at the seems. Her piercing blue eyes clung onto me as i knelt to cradle her in my arms and carry her inside. A note fell to my feet as i unravelled her from the dirty cloth and it read;

"She's yours, her name is Avery"

The baby he cradled in his arms so tenderly was his own? He racked his brain to try work out whether it was possibly his, what happened nine months from today. the only thought he had was Tris. But how, she passed just weeks ago, but it feels like a lifetime. tears swell in his eyes, he missed her like a child misses their blanket, it was as if he was no longer whole. He looked back down to the child he held so naturally in his arms and his tears became of joy as he noticed for the first time she had the eyes of Tris, and her soft, golden hair. She had her hands, small and dainty. everything about her reminded him of his beloved Tris. His tears turned to happy tears as he took her to the bathroom to clean her up. he ran the bath but made sure it was very shallow and only luke warm, whilst never letting go of Avery. her eyes still latched on to him, and as he looked right into her eyes, he could see her, Tris.

Once the bath was run he undressed Avery and placed her in the bath tub but made sure not to let go of her as she looked no more than a month old. while he carefully scooped handfuls of water onto her soft, baby skin, careful not to get it into her eyes he thought about how to find out whether she was really his, and who the mother was, as well as working out how he would ever look after her, he was so unprepared and was utterly clueless. But he would try. Once she was clean he went and found a soft towel to wrap her in whilst he picked up the phone to call Shauna. Shana and Zeke had a baby girl almost a year ago named Piper. Tobias was always fond of Piper and love to cuddle and play with her, but never wanted to be too soft with her when others were around as his reputation was too opposite. Shauna picked up after the first ring and Tobias cut right to the chase telling her to bring anything baby-related they no longer used including clothes and for her all three of them to be at his house in the next thirty minutes. She protested and was full of curiosity but he insisted he'd explain when they arrived. 


	3. Chapter 3

The doorbell rang no more than fifteen minutes since Tobias had made the phone call. With Avery still connected at the hip he opened the door with his other hand and Piper ran through the middle of his legs into the living room. He chuckled to himself, it was way past her bedtime but she was still a ball of energy. Tobias looked back down to Avery and her eyes were still on him, however, she looked a little terrified, but I mean who wouldn't Zeke's height, and muscular build scares anyone. Shauna and Zeke burst through the door flooding with baby items less than a moment later and Avery cuddled her head into Tobias's shoulder. Shauna immediately dropped everything and came over to Avery in disbelief;

"who's this little cutie?" she asked in a soft, nurturing tone.

"Avery, and apparently…she's mine." Tobias responded still a little shocked himself.

"who's the mother?" she asked instantly.

"the only person i can think, is…her"

He couldn't bring himself to say her name, but he knew Zeke and Shauna would understand who he meant. They all shared a silent moment until Piper came hurling back at them, crashing into Zeke's arms. This made them all laugh a little until Shauna declared it was time for business meaning, time to sort all this baby stuff out. She said the first thing they must work out is a room for Avery. Tobias and Tris had bought this house intending on having children running around at their feet, so there was already a nursery. However, when Tris passed away a few weeks ago he had turned it into what one may call, a remembrance room covering it with pictures of their short lifetime together. He thought all hopes of children with Tris were gone, if he'd known about Avery the whole room would be the perfect nursery because Avery deserved perfection. He told Shauna and Zeke about the room, but couldn't place foot in the nursery. He would automatically break down. Zeke gave him a reassuring look and went inside with Shauna closing the door behind them.

In the meantime Piper came up to Tobias and Avery who he still hadn't broken contact with since he first held her, and she looked at him expectantly as her vocabulary was still limited at one.

"Piper, this is Avery" he told her.

Piper smiled and then hugged Tobias, which made him melt inside. Only Tris really knew his passion for children and how much he loved them. She then reached for Avery and hugged her while she was still in his arms. He led Piper back to the kitchen down the hall from the nursery and grabbed an apple juice popper from the fridge for her. He pulled off the straw from the side of the box and placed it in the hole at the top. He then popped her up on the bench with his free hand and she grabbed the popper with two hands. he sat on the stool beside her making sure she didn't fall. After about half an hour Shauna came out and found the three of them infront of the television watching playschool. Piper was asleep with her head on his shoulder while Avery was sleeping on his stomach rising and falling with his chest. Shauna smiled then pulled out her large Nikon camera which she bought just before Piper was born to capture all of these kinds of moment. She took a photo and the sound of the click made Tobias turn his head. She told him they were ready for him. He scooped up Avery still asleep in his arms, and let Piper sleep on the couch until she had to leave.

He knew they would have stripped the room. He was happy that Avery would have a place to grow up but he was also feeling a pain deep down, he would miss seeing Tris's face everyday. He entered the room cautiously, he almost forgot the walls were a pale yellow as photos used to cover them all. He then noticed above the wooden crib they had placed in there, were three photo frames. there was one of Tris smiling on the left. It made his heart swell, that was his most favourite photo of her, her blue eyes shining, her golden hair looking effortlessly perfect as it always did, and her bright smile. A tear fell down his face and he felt no need to wipe it away. they weren't sad tears, they were happy memories he was reliving in his head. He then moved to the right frame a photo of himself Tris had taken. He was smiling more than he ever had. It was because he was looking right into the eyes of his source of love and happiness. That was one of the happiest moments of his life. He had no worries he was just spending a day with Tris doing nothing in particular but at the same time having a perfect day. His eyes then skimmed to the middle frame. A photo Shauna had actually taken of the two of them the day they first met Piper. They were both so happy, they had made plans that day that one day they would have a child of their own. With Avery still tucked in his arms he hugged Shauna and Zeke and told them it was perfect.

"Not so soon, we only have a crib and three frames in here. We aren't finished yet!" Tobias smiled.

First shauna made up the crib with sheets and taught Tobias how to place her in the crib the correct way for a new born child. He placed Avery in the crib so that for the first time tonight he had two hands to use. They went out to the hall were all the baby stuff was left and started to haul the nursery items inside. After an hour of setting up they were all yawning. It was early morning and none of them had slept yet. By now they had finished the nursery with a mobile above the crib, a change table, a chest of toys, and nappies, baby wipes, towels, clothes and blankets all placed on shelves. Shauna left some milk bottles in the fridge filled with milk formula and told him to feed her one of them in the morning. Zeke picked up Piper and they told me they would be back tomorrow to finish everything. With that he made himself a tea, and then headed to his bed. His mind was whirling just today he was zoning out and thinking about tris and by tonight, well this morning, he was a parent of a beautiful girl called Avery.


	4. Chapter 4

Avery only stirred and whimpered twice during the night, but that didn't stop Tobias' protective instinct, and he found himself checking on her in hourly intervals only to find her fast asleep the same way he found her the hour before. At seven in the morning the birds started to chirp and the sun came in through his blinds, waking him from his much needed sleep. He walked into Avery's room as she started to waken. She didn't whimper much, she just opened her eyes to the new surroundings and took it all in, and then grabbed her toes in her little fingers and holds her legs above her head. He smiled to himself, she was so innocent and naive to the true matters in the world around her, and that made her precious. He knew he'd be that parent never wanting to let her run the risk of her getting hurt, he knew the feeling all too well, but he also knew that everyone gets hurt, but the best people stand back up again.

He walked over to her and her eyes widen and she let out a small giggle when she saw him. Tobias' heart warmed, he'd never get tired of that feeling. It was the same feeling he got from holding Tris' hand, or seeing her smile not just with her mouth but also with her eyes. He lifted her from her crib, and she immediately clenched her little fingers into his white t-shirt he'd worn to bed. He patted her lightly on the back like Shauna had taught him the night before, and took her to the change table. He lay her down and walked over to get Avery a fresh change of clothes. He came back to the table with a new nappy and a white onesie with small pink flowers delicately printed on. He dressed Avery and then took her down stairs for a milk bottle Shauna had left for her.

As he sat at the counter contemplating how his life had turned upside down, he wondered how he would tell all the rest of the friends, and Caleb. Tobias still wasn't a fan of Caleb, but they had become less repulsive towards each other and could now hold a conversation. He also wondered how he would find out whether the child was really his, and if so whether Tris was the other parent. He decided to give Caleb a call; after all, he was one of the smartest people Tobias knew.

Caleb rang the doorbell at quarter past eight that morning in shock, but was also intrigued to investigate the situation. He excelled in the anatomy of the human body so what he knew as 'Avery' was like a new project to him. Tobias answered the door with Avery under his arm almost shocked that Caleb had come to his aid. Caleb entered the house and walked to the dining room where they discussed all Tobias knew about the situation. And yes it did get to an awkward point of converse, about whether or not there was a possibility of the baby being Tris' but they pushed pass and tried to come to a conclusion. In the end, Caleb suggested they go to the hospital Tris was born at, as they would most likely still have her DNA records to be able to run the tests. On the way to the hospital they didn't talk much, just sat in silence as Tobias drove carefully knowing Avery was in her car seat in the back. He wasn't going to lie he did have to Google the correct way to place the thing in the backseat for a new born baby, but they did end up on their way eventually.

As they arrived at the hospital Tobias thought about the possibility it was Tris' child as well. There weren't any obvious signs of a bump, but there is a possibility as a momentous night did occur nine months earlier. He made a mental note to ask the question to a doctor before they left. He walked over to the desk and told them the situation and how he was in need of DNA testing on Avery. The woman did not see Avery in the baby carrier that he held onto in his left hand as he signed forms in his right. She asked them to be seated as she read the forms once over to retain knowledge on this knew patient. She then beckoned them back explaining she hadn't realized it was a baby she was dealing with and admitted them straight through to a consultation room where a doctor would soon meet them. Whilst we waited Tobias pulled out another milk bottle Shauna had left and fed Avery as it was now half past nine in the morning. He and Tris would usually still be lounging around in bed together as it was a Saturday morning, and neither had to ever be anywhere usually until three in the afternoon. Tobias and Caleb waited in silence once more for the doctor to arrive, and then the door swung open.


	5. Note

Sorry about taking so long to update it's because I'm busy as I'm currently in a play and it is a lot of pressure as I'm the youngest cast member! Anyway, I've also got a lot of school work at the moment but I hope to update by the end of next week and if I don't I give you permission to go on a rant at me...(hope that doesn't backfire!)

If you are looking for a really good divergent fanfiction though, read my best friend Alex's story:

username: AlexDivergentforLife

Story: secrets of the ocean

IT'S AMAZING! Also who's excited for Insurgent premiering in London on March 11, I have to wait a bit longer for it to come in cinemas where I live though :( IT'S GOING TO BE AMAZING THOUGH!

Love Soph xx


	6. Chapter 5

Tobias POV

"Good morning gentlemen, I'm Doctor Loddington. Who is this little cutie?" he says in a softer voice than his good morning.

"Avery" I reply still in shock every time I say it.

"Well, hello Avery. What's the situation were facing this morning Sir..."

"Call me Tobias, and well, Avery arrived at my doorstep yesterday with no signs of who she belonged to, just a note saying she was mine. And I'm here to know whether she really is."

"Well, I don't hear that every day that I'm certain about. Do you have a partner she may also belong to?"

"…"

"Not around anymore? Left you? I understand my wife left me recently for some rich ma-"

"She tragically passed away recently" Caleb buts in.

"Oh…I'm sorry, that was unprofessional. Well the only way we can test is with her genes, and well obviously, that may be trick-" he says awkwardly avoiding eye contact.

"We hope you can help, Tris is my sister, Tobias's…partner, and she was born here. Will you still have her records?" Caleb asks trying to get straight to the point, bored of this mans running mouth.

"Possibly, we can see. Well let's begin, we will have to take you and Avery into testing and look for your, um, partners records."

A nurse, as if anticipating this was about to happen, enters the room and goes to take Avery, but my instincts kick in and I hold Avery closer to my body, and place a forceful arm in front of me. She's a little taken aback, but looks sympathetic. I come to my senses slowly sick of the sympathetic looks I've been receiving ever since I…lost her. I ask where Avery will be going with her, and she notifies me she will be in the children's' ward. I then cautiously hand her over and follow doctor Loddington to the room I'll be tested in. I send Caleb off with the carrier and Avery's stuff, and he wanders off to the labs presumably.

I enter a room with clinical white benches and lights everywhere, and sit on the chair as I'm instructed. I lean back resting my head and let out a long sigh. The doctor comes over with a needle and I don't even flinch, he firmly presses the needle to my skin and it feels as though I've done it a million times before. I'm not scared of many things, and needles definitely aren't one of them. As he starts to move around taking all the tests, injecting needles and so forth I close my eyes and think over my fears. I had four. Then I lost her. I assumed this meant three. It's hard to be known as brave, because being scared is thought foreign to you, but when you do fear something, it rips at your heart. As I lay there thinking, breathing steadily, I thought of Avery. What if they find she's not mine, and they take her away from me? What if this is a horrible mistake going to rip the number one most thing I care about away from me? Four. Again. Although the fear is not of losing her anymore, I've already lived that. It's of losing Avery. I take in a sharp breath and go to sit up rapidly but I feel firm hands on my shoulders keeping me down.

"She's fine. New parents always come to a sudden realisation they may never see their newborns again, you will, I promise" He says calmly. But she may not be my newborn I think to myself. This causes my breaths to quicken and my muscles to tense. After one of the longest half hours I've ever endured the testings over and I'm allowed to leave the room as long as I stay on the premises. As soon as I thank the doctor and close the door as normally as possible I sprint down corridors and past sections of the hospital.

It takes me a good five minutes until I realise I've covered most of the hospital but have no idea where the children's ward is. I follow all sorts of confusing signs they seem to lead me in a circle but eventually arrive at an information desk for IVF treatments. I see soon to be parents enter and leave smiling, crying happy tears, and rubbing their bumps as I wait at the desk for someone to arrive. Tears form in my eyes but I don't let them fall. I've stopped myself so hard from crying about everything, to let it all go now. Finally a woman comes to the desk looking flustered and frustrated but sees the pain in my face I presume and give me yet another sympathetic look. Do they realise this makes it worse? She directs me towards the end of the corridor where animal and fairy stickers start to appear on the walls. I see the desk and try to steadily walk as fast as possible to the desk. The lady gives me a big grin and I tell her I'm looking for Avery. She asks for my last name and I can't answer her. I don't know. What is her last name? I guess it would be Eaton but I just left that blank on the forms. She looks at me confused. I explain to her she is being tested for genetics and she gives me a worried look. I'm then escorted to a dim room by a female doctor a few years older than I am. She looks at me understandingly. I start to worry, every muscle stiffening in my chair.

"Tobias…we couldn't find Beatrice Prior's records in our systems. This is most likely because once our patients or former patients pass, we terminate their records. Your case is rare. We've never heard of this happening. I'm sorry but there is no way we can determine whether this child is Beatrice and yours."

I stare at her blankly, on the outside I look separated from the real world, but on the inside my whole world is crumbling on top of me, crushing me at the bottom. We sit in a short silence and she checks her messenger; she then clears her throat and begins.

"However, I have just been informed that they have just finished running both your scans, and they have matched. Tobias, Avery is definitely your daughter." I feel gratitude that she has been given to me and that she cant be taken away from me, but I still feel empty, not knowing whether Tris is really the mother or not. She dismisses me and I am reunited with Avery and we both meet Caleb at the main entrance clinging onto each other more than ever.

"I will never let you go again" I whisper in her ear as we exit the automatic doors of the hospital and head to the car with Caleb in tow.


End file.
